What your emotional support water bottle says about you

Your bottle is there for you in thick and thin, she goes with all your outfits. She has other water bottle friends (aka your co-worker's water bottles) also I refer to her as a she? 

Here's what your water bottle says about you in our professional opinions.

Stanley Cup $99

You're a corporate girlie with girl boss energy. You're on a strict water intake challenge. You're considering doing 75 hard but you're not gonna do it. This year you're going on a Euro summer trip and plan to vlog the trip & will post throw back piccys for the next 7 months.

Fav artist right now: Taylor Swift

Hydro Flask (621mL) $85 

People describe you as 'quirky.' You have hippie vibes. Often take your shoes off in the office to ground yourself and spend lunch times outside even the weather is terrible. You say things like "ooo this is great for the garden" when it's raining. 

You read a lots of books and posts genuine and long updates on GoodReads. Your coffee order is a hot choccy because they can't have espresso.

Fav artist right now: Lime Cordiale

Big Momma Hydro Flask (946mL) $105

You have the clean girl aesthetic. You really like's your fancies, nice skin care, regular pedicures. Your weekend Insty stories are markets, your dog having a puppachino and smoothie bowls. Like the Stanley Cup girlie, you also are on a strict water intake. 

Fav artist right now: Post Malone

Frank Green $64

You're in beauty loop level 2 and you loooove a bottomless brunch. Often you're sporting the latest Ruby outfit. You'd throw a bra on stage at a concert. You plan your outfits for the whole week on a Sunday night. You have two showers a day. You only work out in gym classes because you "thrive more in that environment and the gym floor is just too daunting"

Fav artist right now: Gracie Abrams

Kmart bottle $10

You're practical and don't care about the latest trends. "what is huk tuah?" You use public transport or cycle everywhere you go. You have an andriod phone. You always pop into the dairy just down the road and haven't been to the supermarket in months.

Fav artist right now: Billie Eilish

Pump Bottle $2.70 or (2 for $4!)

You're good with budgeting and excel sheets. You love a cheeky gig, the more niche the artist the better. You plan the group chat's holidays with an extensive itinerary, down to 5 minute intervals. You wear holey socks because you know your grandma is gonna get you socks again this Christmas.

Fav artist right now: Benson Boone

 Camel back $100

You update your Insta daily with your Strava updates. You wear Tevas with every outfit - even consider wearing them to work. You have never taken a sick day in your life. You have cracked nail polish and always rock a pony tail. You hope to sight the rare kōkako bird, and send it into DOC for the $10,000 reward.

Fav artist right now: Olivia Rodrigo

Take this as a sign to wash your water bottle

Play ZM and Long Live 🤍